Newsletter 35 - 2020 - Gilson College

Editorial

Just the name brings up memories of ugliness, evil and death.
But occasionally in the middle of danger and despair we can find a ray of hope, a little glimpse of beauty. Like a flower in the middle of a rubbish dump is the story of Franciszek Gajowniczek. (It’s good thing I’m writing this and don’t have to try and pronounce that one!)

Anyway, Franciszek finds himself in Auschwitz – a place where around 4 million Jews died during World War 2. A place where half a ton of human hair is still preserved. A place where the poison gas showers are still there to this day.

It’s 1941 and the Nazis are in full control and they have a quaint, little custom where for every successful escape they kill 10 innocent prisoners. The method is a little different too – the prisoners are taken to a cell where they receive no food or water until they die.

In July someone has obviously escaped and so all the prisoners are herded into the courtyard and they listen as the names are called out. One by one a prisoner steps forward as his name is called and in doing so signals the end of his life. Nine names have been called. Those who remain are hoping against hope that theirs will not be the last name. The Commandant calls the last name: Gajnowniczek. Immediately a crying, sobbing sound is heard as Gajowniczek falls to the ground mumbling something about his ‘wife and children’

Suddenly from back in the crowd a movement is heard. The Officers swing round and watch as a prisoner leaves his spot in the parade square and pushes his way to the front. A guard calls out for him to stop. Still he comes. Rifles are raised and ready. But still he comes. Again someone calls out for him to stop and all he does is say “I want to speak to the Commandant.”

The prisoner arrives and stands in front of the Commandant. ‘What is your name prisoner?’ barks the Commandant. “My name is Maximilian Kolbe. I am a Franciscan priest. I want to die instead of the prisoner.” The words were uttered clearly and without hesitation. “I have no family,” and remembering the way the Nazis thought he added, “I am old and of no use to anyone. Let me die instead.”

Kolbe was well known to the prisoners. He regularly prayed for them and often gave up his food to share with others. The prisoners had called him the ‘Saint of Auschwitz.’
So what happened to him? Along with the other nine prisoners the ‘Saint’ was put into a cell and given no water or food. But he didn’t die of thirst or starvation like the other prisoners. Finally the camp authorities became impatient because he wasn’t dying, and so on the 14th August 1941 the camp doctor injected a poison into Kolbe’s heart ending his life.

And what about Gajnowniczek? What happened to him? Well, back on the parade square Gajnowniczek was unable to thank Kolbe because prisoners were not allowed to speak. All he could do was thank him with his eyes. After the war (yes, he survived the holocaust) Gajnowniczek continued to visit Auschwitz each year on August 14 to thank the man who died in place.

Almost 2000 years ago Jesus Christ said in John 15:13 “ Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” In the very next verse he said ‘You are my friends, if you do whatever I command you.’ We all know that not long after he spoke those words Jesus laid down his life for everyone, and since then his friends have had good reason to thank him.

It’s worth a thought.

Mark B Vodéll
Principal

Behaviour

by Michael Grose

Recently, I saw a remarkable act of parenting delivered in difficult circumstances. A mother calmly won cooperation from her very excited four-year-old daughter just minutes after an unexpected visit from a neighbour and her children.

It was time for bed but Miss Four-Year-Old looked too wound up to go. Her mother calmly said, “Harper….stop!” There was a long pause between the two words, giving Harper time to take notice.

“Look at me, please.” Harper made eye contact. “Now listen.”

“I want you to go into your room. Put on your pyjamas. Then choose a book.” Three instructions only.

“Harper, what did I just say?”

“I’ve got to go to my room. Get my pyjamas and a book.”

“Great! Off you go!”

This mum used the stop, look, listen, say method to get her daughter to cooperate. Her use of clear, simple language was admirable but it was only part of the success formula of this technique. Body language, tone of voice and eye contact all played a part.

This mother oozed credibility, so it was little wonder her daughter complied. In fact, this mother managed like a cat, which is a metaphor for managing with credibility.

If you struggle to get your kids to do as you wish, it’s probably your body language and tone of voice that give you away. That is, it’s less what you say and more about how you say it that makes a big difference. When speaking in a credible or cat-like (a metaphor for credibility) way the following factors come into play:

Steady voice
A cat-like parent will speak with a flat, clipped but friendly voice. This mother used a strong firm voice when she spoke. She took a slight pause between each sentence, which allowed the messages to sink in.

Still head
Your head stays still when you talk. A still head indicates calmness, confidence and authority. This mother also smiled as she spoke, which kept the mood friendly.

Strong body
Your body follows in line with your head. A still, steady posture rather than a body that’s bobbing around, leaning forward or slouching sends the message that you expect cooperation.

Palms down
Your palms will most likely face downwards as this indicates calm and authority. When your hands face the ground it’s far harder to speak with cadence in your voice, which is essential for friendly conversations rather than gaining cooperation.

Look away
In this example, the mother was able to initiate eye contact by saying to her daughter, “Look at me.” She made sure her daughter got her message. But she also took her eye contact away once she knew her message had been heard, rather than stay and be drawn into an argument. Cats will withdraw eye contact, even move away rather than stay and debate a point.

This mother’s cat-like management technique was no accident. She’d practised this method often in low stress situations so that it’s easy to use in difficult circumstances, even when she is tired.

Sports people know they revert to their lowest level of skill when they are fatigued, so they continually practise their skills so they become automatic. That’s as true in parenting and relationships as it is on the sports field. By practising new skills in low stress situations you can maintain your effectiveness and your relationship with your children when you’re tired or in unforeseen circumstances.

For More Articles: parentingideas.com.au/blog/